Romeo and Juliet with a Not So Straight Twist
by random-chan
Summary: Written in Shakespearean, or an easier-to-understand attempt. WARNING: malexmale pairings. If you wish to flame me for that reason, do so with the knowledge that you will be ignored.
1. Scene 1: Love's Stretch Cut By Death

Romeo and Juliet with a Not-So-Straight Twist 

Scene 1: Love's Stretch Cut By Death

At Mercutio's Death

[Mercutio]

Blood litter, thy water salt my fresh wounds.

Gentle heart, coz, why dost thou weep so well

That I were deceived and sky's tears collapse down?

[Romeo]

Thy still-beating heart doth not comprehend

That which to thine eyes hath not been send.

Rest, Mercutio, for the stars hath led,

But know now I prepare my earthly bed.

[Mercutio]

Merry, 'tis I that should prepare the dirt.

Hark, what is this matter for which you speak?

[Romeo]

'Tis of blind eyes and the all-seeing soul – 

[Mercutio]

My time is numbered, therefore have mercy.

Cut out thy speech. I need not hear it all,

Nor can my patience bear it further long.

Shoot thy arrow, let not wind intertwine.

[Romeo]

Indeed, 'tis of arrows I do now speak

Released of their shaking chains not by me,

But by the muffled man inside the clouds,

That fly straight but seem bemiss their target,

Piercing out hearts with shining, deadly tip.

[Mercutio] Thou doddles.

[Romeo]                       Nay, I do not.

[Mercutio]                                            Then speak, dog.

[Romeo]

The fire that tears and slaughters all in path

Consuming all, leaving but bit behind.

[Mercutio]

Thy words twist under the playful cat's paw.

Deadly arrows, consuming fires, war?

[Romeo]

  
War? My imprisoned heart doth laugh at the thought.

[Mercutio] What is it then? Of hate?

[Romeo]                                             Of love.

[Mercutio]                                                        Ay, me.

A blow to the chest, child to child is sent.

[Romeo] It hurts?

[Mercutio]            Nay, but pierces.

[Romeo]                                           The wound?

[Mercutio]                                                            The arrow.

Though raper's point stings as scorpion.

[Romeo] And what dost thou think?

[Mercutio]                                         Me thinkist I die.

[Romeo] Mercutio!

[Mercutio]              Ay, the salt! Halt the salt.

[Romeo] Wilt thou leave me hanging?

[Mercutio]                                            Nay, but bleeding.

[Romeo]

Mercutio – dear Lord, answer! Rise up!

No, 'tis not true, 'tis not true, 'tis not true!

O, wretched holy bondage stained with red!

O, damned holiness, tampered purity!

Why do the stars jeer so? – His hand, it stirs!

[Mercutio] Romeo – 

[Romeo]                   Anon?

[Mercutio]                           Romeo…I…I…

_Mercutio falls still._

[Romeo]

Thou never utters the words I need most!

But three words, Mercutio, but small words…

_End of Scene 1._


	2. Scene 2: Rain that Touches All

Romeo and Juliet with a Not-So-Straight Twist

Scene 2: Rain That Touches All

At the Graveyard

[Montague]

Benvolio, here. How goes Romeo?

[Benvolio]

Never I pray one more smile bless his face.

[Lady Montague]

O, my son! O, my blood! O, he weeps so!

What I would give for my sunshine's beaming!

[Montague]  Th'were close.

[Benvolio]                                  Ay, they were.

[Montague]                                                      What, a sigh?

[Benvolio]                                                                               Nay, nay.

[Montague]

What hand may brush aside the stubborn clouds?

[Benvolio]   But I wish 'twere mine.

[Montague]                                      True, as do we all – 

Stint thy crying.

[Lady Montague]  O, Mercutio! Why?

[Benvolio]

Please, madam, I beseech thee. Please do stop.

The grass and dirt are moist from a clear sky;

Stretching oak trees thrive on less showering.

[Lady Montague]

May they turn to cactuses! I care not!

[Benvolio]

Thy tears silently urge my eyes water.

[Lady Montague]

The reason stands alone; I shall stint now.

[Montague]

Benvolio, go. Speak to Romeo.

Ancient elms can not reach the tiny sprouts. – 

All Montague, away! Capulets come!

Romeo, come!

[Romeo]    Nay, let me stay awhile.

[Montague]   Then stay you, Benvolio.

[Benvolio]                                              Ay.

[Montague]                                                      Away!

_Exit all Montagues but Benvolio and Romeo._

[Benvolio]

Gentle coz, why stay thou here where ghosts haunt?

Thou knowest memory will not but taunt.

Wilt thou not hear? Romeo, awaken!

Death is stubborn and will not be shaken!

[Romeo]

The rock, 'tis so revoltingly simple.

Polished as a tablet of a temple

Whose wide arms embrace, then soon swiftly stab,

Deeper betrayal than a group of Queen Mab.

Mercutio, the word carved in the stone.

O, but may 't be writ my very own!

[Benvolio]

Romeo, Romeo! Thou art a madman!

[Romeo]

Ay, mad of love, mad of hate. O madness!

I embrace thee as I do this wet ground.

[Benvolio]

Up, man! Come, Romeo! We must depart!

The Capulets are abroad; they come hither!

[Romeo]

Let them come! What canst they offer to him

But bitter flowers and no Tybalt limb.

O, that Tybalt, the vile deformed beast!

Tear him to ground flesh I should at least!

Come he, the traitor?

[Benvolio]           Ay, flowers in hand.

[Romeo]  Give me thy sword.

[Benvolio]                           What, to spill blood on grave?

[Romeo]   To avenge my Mercutio.

[Benvolio]                                       Nay, halt!

_The Capulets approach._

[Capulet]

A drawn sword threatening on a moist grave?

Do mine eyes deceive?

[Lady Capulet]          Nay, 'tis Montagues!

[Capulet]    Why art thou drawn?

[Romeo]                                    The sword seeks sweet revenge.

[Lady Capulet]  Ay, me!

[Benvolio]                      Give it here!

[Romeo]                                           Nay, 'till I shed blood.

[Tybalt]

Step back, Juliet. I shall be thy shield.

[Romeo]

Thy shield shall shatter at point. I swear it.

[Tybalt]

Boy! I shall kill thee as I did thy friend!

Let these wretched flowers taste thy home ground!

[Romeo]

Nothing less from thy heartless murderer.

[Tybalt]

Heartless? Cut me open, I dare thee now!

Thou shalt see if a rhythm lies within.

[Romeo]

Indeed, 'tis what intend I. – Let me go!

[Benvolio]  Thou art mad!

[Romeo]                              I care not! Let the insane!

[Benvolio] (aside)

I can afford not to lose thee as well.

[Romeo]  Here is revenge!

[Tybalt]                          Nay, here is discipline!

_They fight._

[Benvolio]

Hold, part! Wilt thou shame his grave with blood?

[Romeo]  Nay, but quench it!

[Juliet]                                     O, Lord, 'tis a nightmare!

My lord, my father, stop them, I beseech thee!

[Capulet]  I can not.

[Juliet]                     Why?

[Capulet]                            They shall turn not an ear.

[Juliet]  But they shall kill each other!

[Montague]                                     Hush, my faith.

_Friar Lawrence enters._

[Friar Lawrence]

What is this fray? – Romeo, Tybalt, part!

Below thine feet rests a dead soul, still heart,

Yet in view of monument thou breaks peace!

Hast thou no shame? Art thou blind? Now hold cease!

One stone thrust into lake shocks the still surface,

And thou shakes it with a helping of curses! – 

Crushed flowers? Hast thou no respect, Tybalt? – 

Romeo, thou pours over dead my salt. – 

Were thou standing by? Would thou let it be,

Though sure death lies clear where all eyes can see?

Never have I beheld such! Nor dreamed!

Allow this warning now be deemed.

Fight no more, kill no more, nor curse no more,

Or in hell's fire thou shalt find thyselves poor!

Depart, Capulets! Depart, Montagues!

_All leave but Romeo and Juliet._

[Juliet]

Romeo! Romeo, husband, hear me!

[Romeo]

Husband? Ah, but true, we were married yest.

[Juliet]   Thou dost not remember?

[Romeo]                                          I can think not.

[Juliet]  But dost thou love?

[Romeo]                               Ay, I do.

[Juliet]                                                Whom?

[Romeo]                                                          This name.

[Juliet]  'T can not be.

[Romeo]                       What of it?

[Juliet]                                         He is man – 

[Romeo] To hell, to hell!

[Juliet]                               Romeo – 

[Romeo]                                             Pray, leave me.

[Juliet]

As thou wishes. But take thy ring back now.

Good day, Romeo. I always love thee.

_Juliet departs._

[Romeo]

Ring, thou art love and bondage for the two. – 

Flowers grow on the grave. Gentle, loyal.

This one reaches are. How soft is its skin,

Wet with dew are its outstretched scarred limbs.

It has a sharp tongue. Like my Mercutio.

Little flower, I propose to thee here.

I slip the ring on thy sturdy, strong stem.

Mercutio, I shall say 't right now,

And dream that thou says the same. I love thee.

_End of Scene 2._


	3. Scene 3: Madness

Romeo and Juliet with a Not-So-Straight Twist

Scene 3: Madness

In the Streets of Verona

[Benvolio]

A smile? Dost thou jest? Romeo's true smile?

[Romeo]

Indeed, for high spirits do infect me.

[Benvolio]   Thou seems at rest.

[Romeo]                                    Ay, for I have proposed.

[Benvolio]

How goes this news! Thou loves another now?

After Rosaline and another heart,

Thy own desires more?

[Romeo]                        Nay, it does not,

But 't discovered that which was hidden.

[Benvolio]  Hidden?

[Romeo]                      Gold beyond worth, wealth past measure.

[Benvolio]  Fair, thou says?

[Romeo]                              Ay, with sharp wit and spirit.

[Benvolio]  By my head, here come the Capulets!

[Romeo]                                                               By my heel, I care not.

[Benvolio]  Mercutio?

[Romeo]                    Ay, he said.

[Benvolio]                                      And thou remembers?

[Romeo]                                                                               Of fate!

_Enter Tybalt, Juliet, and Capulet servants._

[Tybalt]

The air turns fowl. Filth awaits our step.

[Romeo]

Draw they raper's point. My eyes do lust.

[Tybalt]

Art thou at such a haste to certain war?

[Romeo]

Nay, but haste to rush to certain peace.

[Tybalt]

Fool! Thy words mingle senselessly like drunks.

Be put from thy misery, at these hands!

[Juliet]

Nay, halt, dear coz! Hurt him not! I beg thee!

For such blood spilling my love's shall pay fine!

[Tybalt]  Stand aside. He shall hurt thee.

[Juliet]                                                     On my death!

[Tybalt]

Stay in thy place and move thyself aside.

[Juliet]

I stir to stand my place and plea mercy!

[Benvolio]

Save thy fair skin, lady, interfere not.

[Tybalt]

Filthy dog! Sickly Montague bastard!

_Romeo draws his sword and places it across Tybalt's chest._

[Romeo] 

Thy quarrel lies sooner than thou wanders.

[Tybalt]

'Tis clear. Montague wolves assault in group.

Bared fangs, lustful eyes, advance no further! _Tybalt draws his sword._

These my steel-lined hands do seek crimson bath,

That, being quenched yest, provoke deep thirst.

[Romeo]

Drink to ever craving black heart's content.

Here tilts thy elixir, here tilts thy eye.

[Tybalt]

An eye that doth rest on thy groping paws,

In winkless slumber, dream on bloody stumps.

[Romeo]

Wake from thy reverie. Let thy steel speak.

[Tybalt]

At, from these words thy own shall be silenced.

_Tybalt and Romeo fight._

[Benvolio] (to himself)

Romeo? Why? Why doth thy sword falter?

At willing hands? Perhaps those in revolt?

They quake, but thy fire was quenched just yest!

_Romeo is stabbed._

[Tybalt]  Thy skill lacks gravely.

[Romeo]                                 At will, good sir.

[Tybalt]

Will? Madness! Be silenced, Montague dog!

[Juliet]

My love! Have mercy, dear coz, have mercy!

_Juliet grabs Tybalt's arm, he throws her down._

[Tybalt]

Thou, art thou blind? Canst thou not see this beast?

Would thou rather be prey than have justice?

[Juliet]

Justice is blind, but am I to be proud!

The beast here bears blood red hands and no heart!

[Tybalt]

Heartless? Heartless, thou utters? Madness, I say!

Fine! May thou be his vessel toward death!

_Exit Tybalt._

[Juliet]

Romeo, hear me! O, leave not, to precise!

Will thine eyelids open, to paradise

Meet my own, rippling as sea gold

Left unbroken, God's gift and life behold!

Thy attire, 'tis soaked misadventure.

Spread and seek impure water, 'tis my torture!

This hand which thou once loved, loving again,

Stir to this touch, if just for thy pretend!

Quiver, I beg of thy lips as thy slave,

Subserviently tending master's grave!

May my touch evoke a ripple of life,

To shatter ice frozen lake, as thy wife! – 

Thank the Lord, thank the heavens, for he does stir!

[Romeo]

What beauty shines this? Tell me, dear angel,

Did the Lord intend his creations shame

The envious sun, glaring to pierce all,

Yet this shining gold spills past my vision?

[Juliet]

My lord, the gates of heaven have yet open.

[Romeo]

Then this is earth? Such beauty, yet a pity.

Dost thou have a name, or I unworthy?

[Juliet]

O, torturous fate, how thou toys with us! – 

'Tis Juliet, my good lord, 'tis Juliet.

[Romeo]

Juliet. Ah, Juliet, such a name. – 

And where go thou, good sir? Perhaps a name?

[Benvolio]

Dear Romeo, awaken from thy dream!

Canst thou not see? Canst thou not recall it?

Search these eyes, I entreat thee, and speak then.

[Romeo]

Dear Lord! Art thou not my coz, Benvolio?

[Benvolio]

Joy, hear thou utter it! Ay, and I breathe!

Nay, Romeo, lie still. Thou bleeds much yet.

[Romeo]

It matters not. Mercutio shall greet.

[Benvolio]

Look upon this golden face, Romeo.

Canst thou recall this gold beauty elsewhere?

[Romeo]

Thou art Juliet, a blessed angel.

O, dear angel, for what dost thou weep well?

[Juliet]

For thy pure heart. But thou recalls me none?

[Romeo]

I do, I do. Thy gleaming eyes sent hearts

Aflutter, my ring that once graced your hand.

 [Juliet]

Thou dost remember! O, thank the heavens!

[Romeo]

Speak not so heart-breakingly. Thou art angel,

But not mine. My weak worthiness withers.

As does my strength. Cold, 'tis quite cold –

[Juliet]

I shall halt thee not from thy waiting love.

But for the memories, for my broke heart,

Canst thou spare thy slave one last holy kiss?

[Romeo]

Mercutio forgiving, with consent.

_They kiss; Romeo dies._

[Juliet]

With thy blood, I am stained within the soul.

_End of Scene 3._

~*~

Author's Note: A huge thank you to the two reviewers! Though fanfiction is oddly slow and refuses to display the second review, it is recorded, and I'd like to voice my gratitude toward hydrangea and the other (and presently unknown) reviewer: thank you! 


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